I didn't know what I did this time. But my mom was on a roll again.

"You ungrateful child! I drove you to swim classes. I took you to piano lessons. We paid for you to go to the best schools. I stayed up to teach you when you were a kid." and on and on the list went.

I couldn't get a word in edgewise. And even if I did, it would just prolong the torture. Better keep my mouth shut and ride it out as usual.

But this time I swore the "I will never be dependent on anyone ever again!" When I grow up, no one will ever have this kind of hold on me.

And that became my blessing and my curse. I became fiercely independent and capable. I didn't need anyone's help. I climbed to the top on my own.

• I avoided asking for help (I don't want to inconvenience anyone).
• I hated asking for recommendations (My work will speak for itself).
• I didn't like getting feedback (They don't understand the whole picture).
• I'd rather starve than ask for a loan (I believed it was biblical).

Have you made a similar promise?

• After a heartbreak... I'll never allow myself to be this vulnerable again! From now on I'm putting me first.
• After being fired... I'll never give 110% to my work ever. Why should I ever care about my employers?
• After being made fun of... I'll never make any suggestions from now on. Let's see how they fare without my input.
• After a failure... I'll never risk so much again. Always play it safe.

Long after the promise has been forgotten, it is still operational. Even after you no longer think about it, your subconscious remembers and nudges you in that direction.

What gives it it's power are the emotions that preceded the promise. The stronger the emotions, the more binding the promise. Just like a magic spell...

I never thought about that promise. But I came up with all those excuses to fulfill it. And that promise became a lifelong pattern which led to exhaustion and isolation.

A few years later, I made a good start building my new life. But there was a glass ceiling I couldn't pierce. Even with all the self development work I did, something was holding me back.

The breakthrough came when I realized that I was avoiding feedback. And from there I realized I was avoiding help. And avoiding partnerships and collaboration... And that it all came down to the pain of that promise made long ago.

So I Released! it. And I'm so glad I did!

• I received feedback that highlighted my blind spots.
• I accepted referrals that gave me more experience.
• I asked for the help I needed, and it has supercharged my progress.
• I no longer feel alone in this journey.
• I feel supported and excited for the future!

Do you have a pattern that keeps repeating in your life? I invite you to dig deeper and search for the promise you made when you were younger.

Business Owners: Have you hit a glass ceiling? One that you cannot break no matter how hard you work and hustle.

Would you like some help in identifying if there's a "promise" behind it? If so, reply to this email and we can schedule a consult. No strings attached. I promise! 😃

🙏 Michelle